


Meteor

by dianna44



Series: galaxy [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/happy ending, Confessions, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roadshow Tour, Honesty, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 20:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10046705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dianna44/pseuds/dianna44
Summary: Tyler is finally honest with himself halfway through the ERS tour.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ngl I didn't think I'd ever write a fic for this pairing lmao
> 
> but I loved writing this because honestly, I love high school AUs, but I wanted something else, you know haha? anyway, I'm probably gonna make this a series soooo
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! xxxx

It wasn’t a big moment. It never seemed to be a _big_ moment. It was just another moment, followed by many more, and preceded by just as many or more or less.

It just. _Wasn’t_ a big moment, so of course, Tyler was surprised. He was surprised because when it happened with Jenna, it was a big moment. It was something that hit him all at once, and he remembers looking at her, and realizing, _This is it this is that Big Moment._

And then he kissed her, and it all just went from there.

But this moment should have been just another moment in a sea, a _galaxy_ , of many. Yet.

Yet it wasn’t like that at all.

“Ty?”

Josh’s voice is soft, gentle, concerned, confused, worried, endeared, and many so many other words that Tyler couldn’t even try to explain.

“Yeah, sorry,” he says. “Gotta go to the restroom.” And then he’s standing up, away from his _moment_ , and walking to the restroom in the tour bus.

And maybe the moment just hasn’t fully hit him yet. Maybe he doesn’t know what he’s talking about—no, that can’t be right because if there’s anyone that knows Tyler’s thoughts it’s Tyler.

(He has lots and lots of scary thoughts, but somehow, this seems scarier than most.)

He leans on the counter, and stares at his reflection. Huh. His hair is growing back. Maybe he should cut it again maybe he should cut it ag—

And suddenly he’s vomiting.

Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh _no_.

And here’s that moment, seemingly much bigger than the moment with Jenna, and the moment that happened not even five minutes ago. Because not even five minutes ago, Josh held tightly onto his hand, and so briefly, so briefly no one else would even notice, dragged it up Tyler’s arm, and that moment, however seemingly small, was a _moment._

And Tyler’s vomiting. He’s vomiting, and his thoughts are loud loud loud lou—

He’s in love with Josh.

 

 

Tyler distracts himself quite efficiently, and he knows what people say about running away from one’s problems, but Tyler can’t help it, he can’t _help it._

They’re on tour right now, and Tyler just cannot afford for this to happen. He can’t allow himself to be too caught up in feelings that he must force away. He can’t allow himself to betray Jenna like this.

And oh, how he loves Jenna. She’s a bright light, and she’s one of his best friends, and she’s a gem in the sky, and he loves her.

(Josh is brighter Josh is his best friend Josh could be described as all the gems combined and it still wouldn’t be enough.)

Tyler is good at distracting himself. He’s good at pretending that

(He’s in love with Josh.)

he’s more in love with Jenna.

(Why can’t his thoughts _shut up?_ )

Tyler is awake, and he’s staring out the window on the bus, watching the sliver of the sun start to wake up with him. Josh and the others are sleeping, but Tyler is wide awake, and as he stares at the sun, he wonders what it’d be like to become the sun.

(He already seems to burn up everything in his path anyway.)

 

 

“Tyler, man, you okay?” Josh asks a few hours later. The others are gradually waking up, but Josh just ate his donuts, and he’s almost as awake as Tyler now. Tyler glances at him, briefly realizing how high the sun has risen, and he swallows.

Josh seems to be staring right through him.

“Yeah, I’m good. Got enough sleep?”

(You’re beautiful you’re beautiful you’re beautiful oh God, you’re so beautiful.)

Josh smiles at him, plopping down next to Tyler. “Never,” he says, making Tyler smile back at him. Josh leans against his shoulder, and holds up a donut in front of Tyler’s face. “Want one?”

Tyler just shakes his head. “Nah, I’m good.”

Josh shrugs, and continues to eat it himself, still leaning on Tyler. Tyler has always loved moments like this. Tyler has always loved being with Josh.

(Tyler has always loved Josh, and it’s his fault for just now realizing.)

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Josh asks again, breaking his thoughts with a sledgehammer. Or a cannon. Or something even more destructive than that. Perhaps a meteor.

Tyler wants to tell him. He wants him to _know_ even if it can’t go anywhere, but he just gives a small smile, and shakes his head.

“I’m good.”

(They take turns leaning on the other for the next hour.)

 

 

Tyler thought of Josh when he sang “We Don’t Believe What’s On TV” and he thought of Josh when he sang “Can’t Help Falling in Love” and he’s thought of Josh when he sings every song after that because now that he’s started, he doesn’t know if he can ever stop.

(It’s pathetic. He’s being pathetic.)

Josh doesn’t talk at shows, but Tyler wants to hear him. He wants to hear him, and so he can’t stop himself from bounding over to him, and asking loud and clear for the audience to hear, “Man, Josh, aren’t they just the best?”

The audience eats it up, and they scream and they cheer, and Josh looks confused that Tyler is pointing a microphone in his face, and maybe Tyler shouldn’t have done this, he knows how anxious Josh can get, but then Josh is smiling, and he leans forward and shouts, “Best in the whole world!”

His voice is beautiful and raspy and full of exhaustion, but Tyler is grinning, and he pulls back and looks slyly at the audience. “Huh. Best in the whole world. That’s pretty big praise coming from him.”

The crowd envelops him in noise, and Tyler’s bones shake, his mind shouts, and his heart dances.

Tyler glances back at Josh, and Josh is smiling so fully at him, and Tyler tries so hard to ignore the way his heart beats faster, the way his thoughts race against each other quicker, the way he wants to completely fall into Josh’s own mind and never leave.

He turns back to the audience, and if he jumps around more than often and if he screams with more passion, then only maybe Tyler’s vocal chords can complain.

(Josh is passion.)

 

 

Jenna is coming to the show tonight, and Tyler is excited, excited to see his wife again and excited to play his heart out for her, but he’s never been so scared.

At night, sometimes, he plays out scenario after scenario of how she’d react if he told her. He doesn’t even know _what_ he would tell her. What would he tell her? How could he tell her? They just got _married_ , and it’s not like Tyler doesn’t love her, but what would he tell her?

They meet up in the city, and Jenna runs to him, and he kisses her, and it’s such a big fairy-tale moment come true, but Tyler is so aware of Josh smiling at her beside him.

“Josh!” she exclaims, quickly hugging him too, after unlatching herself from Tyler.

“Hey, Mrs. Joseph,” Josh teases, and Tyler is horrified at himself for having to stop himself from wincing when he heard him say that.

(He doesn’t deserve either one of them, especially with thoughts like these. What is he _doing_?)

“Mr. Dun,” she says, teasing him back. “Or should I say Mr. Joseph? You’re basically just as married to Ty as I am, maybe even more,” she laughs.

Tyler tenses up. Why would she say that so naturally? No no no, Tyler is the worst husband Tyler is the worst husband Tyler loves her but he’s in love with—

“Josh,” he whispers. He freezes, and both Jenna and Josh look at him, perplexed.

“Ty?” Jenna asks, reaching out to touch his arm. He doesn’t move at all.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Tyler?” Josh asks, repeating his sentiment from earlier and yesterday and two days before that and every day for the past week.

“Yeah, ‘m just tired, I think.”

Josh immediately looks concerned, and Jenna squeezes Tyler’s arm comfortingly.

(Tyler is on fire. He is fire. He’s burning so quickly.)

Jenna is suddenly right in front of him, and she’s pressing a hand to Tyler’s forehead. She immediately frowns, and says something to Josh, and Josh is beside him, and they’re both so close, and Tyler can’t _breathe._

“Josh, he’s really burning up. I think he has a fever.”

“Crap, okay. We need to lay him down somewhere. He needs rest. I know he would hate himself for missing tonight’s show.”

Jenna nods. “Grab onto him? I’ll get him from this side.”

Tyler is moving, and Tyler is moving, and he’s leaning on someone, someone so warm, and for a brief moment, he hopes he’s being a good husband by leaning on Jenna, but then he sees a flash of color, and Josh’s tattoos are tattooed into his brain, and Tyler is leaning on _Josh,_ and he _hates_ himself.

(Josh is the sun, so blindingly bright and so startling dangerous.

But just as humans need the sun to live, to breathe, to _be,_

Tyler needs Josh.)

 

 

Tyler wakes up to absolute silence, and he blinks, confused and disoriented. It’s dark wherever he is, and sits up, finding himself in his bed in the bus, with curtains closed.

What happened? What’s going on?

He hears faint talking, but he has to strain to really hear them, and he doesn’t see the point as to why he would do that when he can just join them.

Opening the curtain, he peeks his head outside before basically rolling out of bed. He stands up straight, and his gaze meets Josh’s immediately.

“Tyler!” Josh exclaims, and Tyler can’t react, can’t say anything to maybe comfort him before Josh is throwing his arms around him and hugging him. “I was worried about you,” Josh mumbles against Tyler’s shoulder, and Tyler wants to _drown_ in this man.

(His feelings are too present, too real, and Tyler is the _worst_ sort of husband.)

“Where’s Jenna?” he mumbles, and Josh pulls back, still looking incredibly concerned.

“She’s been out talking to the crew about what to do. She wants you to postpone the concert, and she’s kind of having an argument about it with everyone,” he says, wincing a bit, already knowing Tyler’s reaction.

“I’m not going to postpone. I’m fine,” Tyler says, and he moves to leave the bus, but Josh grabs his arm.

“Are you?” Josh asks. “Fine? Because lately… I’ve just been really worried, Ty. You’d tell me if something was up, right?”

(He’s starlight, he’s words, he’s tattoos, he’s hopes and dreams, and Tyler has fallen so far down, and he doesn’t know where Jenna is anymore.)

Tyler wants to tell him, but he can’t. It’d be so selfish, and it wouldn’t go anywhere, and it’d only end up in hurt.

He can’t do that to himself, and he can’t do that to Josh, and he can’t do that to Jenna.

He reaches his hand up, and pinching Josh’s cheek, he smiles and says, “I’m okay, Jishwa.”

Josh smiles instantly, and reaches up and places his hand over Tyler’s. Tyler can’t breathe.

“Jishwa, huh? You haven’t called me that in a while,” he muses.

Tyler smiles. “Well, maybe it’s time to bring it back.”

Josh rolls his eyes and finally stepping away from Tyler, Tyler can breathe again. He moves to the door, and Josh sits down.

“So they’re outside?” Tyler asks just before he leaves. Josh looks at him, and grins, nodding.

“Yup,” he says.

Tyler’s heart skips a beat, but he ignores it as he exits.

(Not now not now not now not ever.)

 

 

The show went swimmingly, and afterwards, Jenna was hyped up, and Tyler was exhausted. Jenna was pulling on him, and they booked a hotel room for the night because their next city was only a few hours away.

Jenna laughed as she pulled him along, and Tyler wanted to say something more to Josh before he was dragged off, but Josh just winked at him, and waved them off, smiling knowingly.

(Tyler loathes himself.)

He returned his attention back to Jenna, and he smiled as she tripped over nothing at all. He knows he loves her. He loves her. He does. He can feel it. He felt it when he wrote that song about her.

(But it wasn’t a happy song, and nobody seemed to get that. Nobody seemed to get that “Tear In My Heart” wasn’t the happy song that it sounded so much like. Not even his own wife. Nobody.

Sometimes, even he forgot.)

“Here’s our room,” Jenna giggles, leaning forward and kissing Tyler’s neck. “I missed you. I’m glad you’re having fun touring, but I do miss you. I’m glad we had today, and that we have tonight.”

Her words are filled with meaning, and Tyler loves this woman _so_ much, but he’s… he’s in love with somebody else as well.

And… and that’s something people tell their wives, right? People aren’t supposed to lie to their spouses.

(People also aren’t supposed to fall in love with somebody who isn’t their spouse, but Tyler’s already screwed that up because he’s a screw-up. He’s just a screw-up.)

They’ve already gotten into their room, and they’ve moved to the bedroom, and Jenna has already taken off her shirt, and Tyler thinks she looks so gorgeous in her lacy, navy-colored bra. He thinks she’s so gorgeous, and he loves her, and she’s looking at him a bit differently now and—

“Sweetie?” she asks, confused. She stops moving, and then slowly moves toward him. She cups his cheek, and he takes a deep breath. He’s scared so so scared so scared of rejection.

(Rejection of what? Rejection from her? Rejection of the truth? What is he scared of? Is he scared of himself? Her? Josh?)

“Tyler, you’re scaring me, baby. Tell me what’s happening.” She leans in and hugs him, and Tyler _loves_ her, but it’s scary to him that he loves Josh more.

(He’s been in love with Josh long before he even met her. He’s been in love with Josh since the sun and moon decided to be apart forever. He’s been in love with Josh since the oceans’ waves collided against the shore. He’s been in love with Josh for so long, and it’s his own, stupid fault for not realizing until now.)

Jenna is still hugging him, and he realizes, horrified, that he isn’t even hugging her back.

(He’s a _shit_ husband.)

“Tyler, whatever it is, it’s going to be perfectly okay,” she whispers, trying to calm him down, and Tyler belatedly realizes he’s crying. He’s _crying_ , and he hugs her finally, holding her close to him, and breathing her in.

“I’m sorry,” he says. He hugs her tighter. “I’m so sorry, Jenna.”

Jenna isn’t crying, but Tyler can tell that she’ll soon start if he’s honest with her right now.

He needs to be honest with her. He needs to be honest, _it’s so hard._

(Maybe he shouldn’t tell her. Maybe he should just ignore his feelings for Josh. He loves Jenna. It’s not like he doesn’t love her at all.)

Another voice comments that he might soon fall out of love with her.

(He shouldn’t lie to her, he should tell her the truth, she needs to know.)

“I’m sorry, Jenna,” he says again, choking on his words that feel like poison.

(Does he create words that aren’t poison? His words are depression. His words are his own yet he’s come to share them with the world, and now he can’t even speak to her.)

“I love you,” he manages to say, and he wants to take it back. He shouldn’t have started this like that. He shouldn’t have said that because now it’ll seem like he’s just comparing her to Josh, which… he is, but he doesn’t want her to know the details so intimately.

(She’s his _wife_ and because Tyler is so screwed up, he can’t even be intimate with her, both physically and emotionally.

He’s pathetic pathetic pathetic pathetic.)

“Tyler?” she asks, and Tyler can see her begging him not to tell her. It’s all over her face, all in her eyes, and it’s so clear that she doesn’t want to know, but Tyler can see that she won’t forgive him if he doesn’t tell her.

(He could make up some excuse. He could say something about how touring has been harder than usual, and that he misses home, or anything like that, but the lies taste bitter on his tongue, and he can’t afford any more lies. He can’t afford any more of this.)

He’s taking a deep breath, and then another one, and maybe just one mo—

“I’m in love with Josh.”

And there it is, out there for what he thought was his whole world to hear.

Jenna has frozen, and she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t blink, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t _be_ , and Tyler stays just as quiet.

She’s still hugging him, and then she squeezes him a little harder, and her face is in his shoulder, and Tyler’s heart bursts into pain when he realizes she’s sobbing. She tries to get even closer to him, and Tyler still can’t bring himself to move away. He doesn’t want to move away. He loves Jenna, and he loves her, and he loves her, but he’s _in love_ with Josh.

( _Fuck._ )

They don’t say anything for what seems like ages, and finally, Jenna stops crying, and breathes a little more steadily, and Tyler just continues to hold her.

(He’s the worst sort of person.)

She sniffs, and slowly untangles herself from Tyler, and there she is, mascara-stained and smiling sadly at him. Reaching her hand up, she wipes Tyler’s tears, and Tyler shakes at her touch. Then she leans forward, and kisses his cheek.

“I love you,” she says, and Tyler just nods, waiting. Waiting for what, he doesn’t know? Waiting for the screams, the shouts, the punches, the betrayal? He waits and waits and waits, and she’s looking down at her lap. “You didn’t cheat on me, did you? I don’t think you would, but I want to know.” She hasn’t made eye contact with him again, and Tyler wants to burn up into nothing at all as he shakes his head immediately.

“No, no. No… I don’t even think I’m going to tell him,” he admits, laughing self-deprecatingly.

Jenna looks up at him then, and she’s angry. Here it is here it is here it is.

“Don’t lie to yourself, Tyler. It’s an ugly habit. Don’t do it. You’ll tell him. You’ll tell him. I know you’ll tell him because you told me,” she says, and Tyler is _hurting_ her, but he doesn’t like to lie. He hates it he hates it he hates himself. “I’m going to sleep, Ty.”

And then she leans back on the bed, situates herself under the covers, and turns over, not saying another word to Tyler.

Tyler wished he could say he didn’t know what to do, but he does. He knows what to do. And so he sits there a little longer, relishing the moment in which the truth has been revealed, and then he pulls off his shirt, lies down next to his wife, turns off the light, and goes to sleep.

The next morning, Jenna is already on her way back to Ohio, and Tyler thinks the sun isn’t bright enough.

 

 

A week passes, and Tyler knows he’s acting differently, and he knows that the others know, especially Josh. And Tyler hurts. He hurts when Jenna texts him a few days after she left to ask if it was alright to file for a divorce, or if he wanted to wait anything out. He hurts when he responds, and he hurts when Josh throws him concerned looks at every other thing he says. He hurts and hurts and hurts.

(He’s in love he’s in love he’s in love with Joshua Dun, and he wouldn’t ever deserve him.)

They’re on the bus again, and Josh is curled up on his bed, his curtain open, and his phone obviously being used. He laughs at something, and Tyler’s thoughts erupt into fireworks.

“What’s funny?” he asks from his own bed, and Josh laughs again. He sits up to show Tyler a picture.

“Debby just sent it to me. Isn’t it hilarious?”

(Can’t forget about Debby.)

Tyler smiles solely because Josh is smiling. “I think you’re more hilarious.”

(He didn’t mean to say that, but he’s found that the words escape his mouth more often than not nowadays.)

Josh doesn’t see anything strange with it, however, and just shakes his head. “Coming from the true comedian.”

Josh shows him another picture, and Tyler smiles again, and then Josh asks if he’s seen a video yet, and when Tyler says he hasn’t, Josh gets into the bed with him, tucking his knees up to his chest, and pulls up the video to show to Tyler.

Josh doesn’t leave his side until they arrive at their destination, and Tyler almost peed himself twice from laughing so hard.

(Josh is a meteor shower.)

 

 

“I’m starving. You?” Josh asks, and Tyler nods, adrenaline high after the concert. He played especially loud today, he thinks, and he isn’t even sure what that means, but he likes to think that it means at least something. Josh nods at him, and then leaves Tyler’s side for a moment. Tyler situates himself in the bus once again, absolutely drained, and watches Josh come back on the bus.

“I just asked the rest of the guys, and they’re all down for some burgers. Sound good?”

Tyler nods tiredly, and yawns. “Yeah, man. Sounds perfect. Good show tonight by the way.”

Josh grins, sitting down next to him. “Good show, Ty.”

“Jishwa,” Tyler responds, resting his head on Josh’s shoulder. Josh doesn’t move away, doesn’t flinch, and he laughs again, the vibrations echoing off Josh’s body and onto Tyler’s.

“Again, huh?” says Josh. Tyler doesn’t respond, and Josh hums, pulling his arm out from between them, and resting it over Tyler’s back. Tyler falls into Josh’s comfort so easily, and it should be so scary, but Tyler is so tired and he can’t bring himself to worry about the inescapable consequences. Tyler feels Josh’s hand gently rub at his arm, and Tyler huffs, breathing in and out in out in… and out. “Tyler, I’m not gonna lie. I’m… I’m really worried about you. Especially in the past few weeks, Ty.”

“Don’t worry, Josh,” Tyler says, and it’s such a stupid thing to say to someone who knows you so well, but Tyler is hoping that Josh won’t say anything more.

(He will. Tyler had the good fortune of not only loving Joshua Dun, but also being his best friend.)

“But that’s the thing. I _do_ worry. I can’t help but _worry_. I’m always worried about you, Ty. Always. And recently… I know something is up, and I haven’t been wanting to pressure you into telling me, and I swear I’m not trying to do that right now either, but I’m… I’m _exhausted._ ”

“I’m okay, Josh,” Tyler says, and Josh just shakes his head.

“No, we both know that’s never been true. That’s never been true for the pair of us.”

“Josh.”

“Tyler, _stop._ I’m sorry. I won’t ask again. Just. Just don’t hurt yourself, Ty? Please? Please tell me if you have any thoughts like that again? You’ll tell me, right?”

(He doesn’t know anymore.)

Tyler nods. “Yeah.”

Josh jerks a nod, and he gives a small smile.

They don’t speak again until they get to the burger place, but silence between them never seems to matter. Any silence between them only ever makes it mean so much more.

 

 

“I’m getting divorced.”

Everyone stops moving around him. They have an hour until the show, and Jon is about to finish up on stage, and Tyler says it before he can regret it. Tyler is only watching Josh as he says it, and Josh doesn’t seem to know what to say.

“You just got married,” Mark says, and Tyler nods.

“Now I’m getting divorced,” he states just as easily.

“Yeah, but—”

“It was my decision,” he says again.

“You broke up with her?” asks Josh, and he’s taken a step toward Tyler. Tyler meets his gaze.

(His beautiful beautiful eyes.)

“She broke up with me,” Tyler says. “But it was my decision to get divorced. We didn’t have to. In fact, we didn’t have to break up, but we agreed to divorce before breaking up, and breaking up came naturally for her to say.”

“Isn’t divorcing breaking up?” Mark asks, confused. Josh is just standing there.

Tyler shrugs. “I guess. Not to us. Not to me.”

“But—”

“How long ago?” Josh cuts in. His gaze is fierce, and he looks angry. He looks sad. He looks hopeful and resigned.

“A month ago. When Jenna came to see the show.”

“A _month_?”

Tyler nods. “Yeah.”

Josh’s gaze is piercing, and Tyler almost wants to look away, but he can’t allow himself to do that. Josh is angry. Angry at him, he doesn’t know, but probably. Tyler can’t tell. Tyler is so tired, and so in love with this man, and Tyler wants to fly into the sky and stick himself amongst the clouds.

It looks as if Josh is going to say something, but he just scoffs, and turns away, storming off angrily.

Tyler doesn’t say a word.

The crew goes back to setting everything up.

(Tyler wants to rip his nails off and write love songs against a chalkboard.)

 

 

Josh plays louder and louder and louder and louder as the night progresses, Tyler’s ears are ringing and his voice hurts from trying to shout louder than Josh’s drums.

The level of understanding passes between them, and Josh’s name on Tyler’s thigh burns.

 

 

Tyler supposes, as far as moments go, this moment was relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things. As far as furthering choices, furthering options and decisions and life-altering possibilities, this moment is arguably one of the most important moments in Tyler’s life.

“It was because of you.”

(Shove it back take it back slit your wrists until the words bleed out oh no oh no oh _no oh n—_ )

“What?”

“Nothing,” lies Tyler.

Usually, Josh would have let it go. Maybe he would have been a bit more stubborn, but eventually he would have let it go, but today, they’re in a crappy gas station, and they’re waiting in line to use the restroom because the one on their bus broke, and Tyler was just looking at him, and he said it.

“It’s not nothing, Tyler. What is it?” Josh asks. Tyler says nothing, hearing the bell above the door ping as someone walks out. “ _Tyler, tell me_.”

“It was because of you!” Tyler shouts suddenly. Heads turn, and then the door is opening for the crappy restroom, and a man walks out, nodding to them as he walks away. Josh is frowning at him, and Tyler gestures to the restroom. It’s Josh’s turn.

(Timing can be perfect sometimes.)

Josh is pulling him inside with him before he knows what’s happening.

“Josh!” he exclaims, and Josh shakes his head angrily, letting go of Tyler.

“Tyler, _please_. Please! Please please please PLEASE, _tell me what’s going on!_ ”

The words are in his mind the words are everywhere the words are present and alive and Tyler wants to shove them back down he wants them to disappear into nothing at all he wants them to become the sun and the moon and the waves and every other elemental thing and anything everything _nothing_ and

“I’m in love with you!”

Josh is stunned, and Tyler glares at him.

“I’m _in love_ with you! You, Josh! YOU! I said it was because of you that I divorced Jenna! It’s because of _you_ that I’m in love with you! I _love_ you!”

And then, as far as moments go, Tyler screws it up.

He screws it up, and he _runs._

 

 

He doesn’t go back to the bus. He doesn’t go back to anybody he knows. He doesn’t go anywhere, and why are they in the middle of absolutely _nowhere_ crap crap crap crap SHIT!

He doesn’t know where he is, but he’s running, and his legs hurt so much his legs hurt so much and he just told Josh he’s in love with him.

And then he’s falling. The grass is dead beneath him, and it’s prickly, and it’s cutting at his skin, and he’s still falling, and he’s still falling, and he’s crying, and he has a concert tomorrow, and he is so unbelievably in love with Josh, and he just told him.

He rolls over onto his back, the sun shining down on him, and Tyler is so cold. He’s shaking, and he’s sweating, and he really needs to work out some more if he’s this tired from that much running. He can’t have run too far. He couldn’t have.

Where is he where is he where is he.

(Where is Josh?)

Suddenly, someone collapses next to him, and Tyler doesn’t even have to look at him to know, and Josh means so _much_ to him.

“I’m in love with you,” Tyler suddenly laughs out. He’s insane, isn’t he? Lock him up. Why does he go to shows? Is he relapsing? It’s been so long, please don’t let this be happening.

Josh is staring at him, eyes wide and hesitant.

“I’m in love with you,” Tyler says again. The words taste funny on his tongue. Like a candy that he doesn’t quite like, but doesn’t hate either. The words taste like a candy that Jenna would hate and that Tyler would love. The words never seem to stop, do they?

Tyler gives a sardonic grin, and he opens his mouth to say the words again, but then Josh is leaning toward him, and his lips are pressing against Tyler’s.

(Tyler wants to fill a universe with words dedicated to Josh.)

“We’ll figure it out.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments would be SWELL 
> 
> all the love xxxx


End file.
